Day 9

  
Today was a great day!

I got almost 9.5 hours of sleep, went to the waterpark, and made it through dinner at PF CHANGS without napping!  I got very irritable this morning and my roomie literally bought me this snickers bar because I was being such a brat…

   

So after that I laughed it off and dropped the “tude”….

This whole process really is a lot about mind over matter… And I am learning more about myself, and my level of self control each and every day.

I had sorta weird dreams last night but nothing extremely abnormal.  I had 0 panics attacks which is awesome and no crying spells.  I’m hoping this all just means I am that much closer to the finish line even though… I really am not.  Monday is my only day of freedom of my busy work and school week so we will see tomorrow, day 10, how I am really doing.  I have heard rumors around the block (and web) adderall stays in your system until ten days after your last dose… Not saying if you have been on it for awhile but initially 10 days after your last dose.  So tomorrow will be a challenge I am ready to take on.  Also, people should download bitmoji.  It’s great you can make an emoji of yourself.

This won’t let me post on here unfortunately but it’s hilarious.

Keep on keeping on guys!

-Your Friendly Anonymous Adderall Abuser 💋

Barely alive… But I made it through a week

  
Hi guys,

So it’s been a week.  It has been a struggle and a fucking half.  That’s why I haven’t been able to post.  I have been taking Redd Remedies “In Joy” and “Sam-e” so I have been experiencing every withdrawl symptom except depression.  I have been having insane dreams I actually texted out to my friend when I woke up.  Last night, and the night before were the worst and led to nightmares.  I have been having panic attacks periodically but the worst at night at work (I usually would take my adderall at 4:30ish because I work dinner shifts).  I definitely believe the scientific facts about your brain being on a clock, and I can definitely tell my body knows it’s not getting that burst of amphetamines at that time of the day like it’s used to.  I just wish I knew how long accute withdrawl symptoms for someone on my dose, and duration last… Because I’m managing but I can’t live my life this way.  I have been having panic attacks so bad at work I have to go into the bathroom and take deep breaths, and pray until my heart rate slows down.  They just come on out of nowhere. The past two days I had a very hard time waking up in the morning.  I overslept through 6 alarms and was having vivid dreams throughout the snooze alarm time period which is definitely not normal.  Your brain isn’t supposed to dream in seven minutes.  All of my dreams have been so vivid I thought they were real.  One scared me so bad because I woke up (in the dream) and I had to lean against the wall because my vision started blurring and warped into the shape of a skull… I am having pregnant woman like dreams but I just ended my period.

I just keep trying to tell myself it won’t be like this forever.  I just hope I don’t murder someone throughout the process. Or get fat as a whale 😟

Keep my readers posted. 

Wish my luck.

-You’re Friendly Anonymous Adderall Abuser 💋 

Day 5

  
Hi guys,

So I am not going to lie.  After my post last night I went to work and had a huge crying spell over nothing, and a panic attack.  I was literally on the toilet and prayed to JESUS the night would be slow.  I can’t even remember the last time I prayed.  Ever.  But anyways, it passed and I ended up making it through the shift fine.  I never was ADD I have always been ADHD so I was extremely hyper, forgetful, and ridiculous.

A short funny story:

First, it took four times of me running to my car to leave for work, to actually leave because I kept forgetting things.  Second, I didn’t realize until half way through my shift I was wearing my underwear inside out.  I showered right before work which is why it is almost even more hilarious.  Anyways, I proceeded to telling my coworkers about it and they were cracking up.

One actually said,

“At least you didn’t put them on backwards!”

So, I fixed the problem, (when I realized obviously) and then we were having pau Hana after work and I went to use the bathroom and BAM.  Somehow when I fixed them from being inside out I put them on backwards.  I don’t know how it happened but it did.

Today I was a hyper active shit show.  My friend told me I was insane for screaming about pens in class. 

But im doing it.

And I am succeeding. 

So fuck the rest.  Good luck to all the others sharing my pain.

With love,

Your friendly anonymous adderall abuser 💋

Day FOUR!!!!

  
Hi guys!

So yesterday was pretty awful I am not going to lie.  I went to sleep at around 2 am, woke up for an hour at 9, then fell back asleep until 3:30 pm.  I am starting to get almost flu like symptoms, chills, runny nose, and I have no fever.  I did also make the decision to get rid of all of the remaining Adderall pills I had left of my perscription which was over thirty.  It was a really hard decision but after feeling as sick, depressed, and miserable as I was feeling I just made the decision:

“You know what BITCH?!  IT’s NOW OR NEVER!!”

Adderall had just begun to almost get to the point that when I started cutting my dose, sometimes when I take it it would make me feel almost worse.  More sick, and anxious, and angry, and most of all jittery.  I know people say it isn’t safe to quit cold turkey but I already had tapered down from 45mg to about 20-25 (yes with some slip ups) but you have no idea how amazing it feels to… I don’t know just feel like I have the controls again.  Of my life.  
Live your life.  You control it.  No other person, thing, and especially no perscription drugs.

I have the controls. 😏

I know it is only day four, but each day counts.  One day at a time.  I will definitely keep posting, and my readers (if I even have any) updated on my progress.

Sincerely,

– Your friendly anonymous adderall abuser 💋

Shmall kine feel like I was hit by a bus…

It’s 10:20 a.m. The morning after my post last night.  I will probably make another one later but slept better last night than I have in awhile.  Granted I drank a couple beers at home to help me get to sleep, but I got a normal human amount of 7-8 hours and took no adderall at all yesterday. 

I just feel stoned almost.  

It is such a good feeling to be getting the f off of this crap.

– your friendly anonymous adderall abuser 💋

OTC Adderall substitutes & Day 1 Cold Turkey

  
Hey guys,

So here is my current update.  My friend has gotten me to taking Redd Remedies “In Joy ” supplements and I have also been taking Sam-E.  To help with my depression symptoms.  They have been really helping me and my coworker also gave me a supplement called “Addium”.  I tried it out at school and I honestly loved it.  I felt like I was on my adderall but without the cracky, and jittery feeling.  I went home and took a nap after.

Tonight I took one at work instead of my 15-22.5mg dose of adderall.  I felt fine and got home with enough energy to watch Netflix for a bit but I am definitely going to sleep easily, and well.  I know I’ll know for sure in the morning if I feel any withdrawl feelings but I have high hopes for the “Addrena” supplements I ordered which have better ratings, and are even a little stronger.

So far though, I have high hopes.  I’ve been getting through my days, keeping busy, no more excessive coffee amounts and I am finally starting to feel motivated and happy and confident about the direction my life is going.

Thinking happy, sleepy thought

☺️💭❤️💤

Sincerely,

Your friendly anonymous adderall abuser 💋

Good forums on Adderall Withdrawl & Current Update

http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-conditions/desperate-end-adderall-addiction-47635.html​

These people are all me.  😭.  This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life and I’m messing up big time.

It is so hard stay on track. Especially when in two schools and working five nights a week.  I honestly have considered going to a facility for a few days but I can’t request off work and I don’t want that on my permanent record… If that is even what they do.  Tapering is the most safe but also dangerous because of temptations.  I promised I would be honest with my readers…

  
Stress, and school and lack of sleep really makes it difficult.  I am still depressed.  I wish I could have an easier time quitting.  Gotta get back on the 25 mg train because I think 22.5 was too low for me. When I see my doctors at the end of the month I am going to be requesting a drop in my dose to help make the tapering easier, and so they don’t freak out if I just say… “Btw I am not taking my perscription I have been on for five years anymore!” 

Any advice would be much appreciated. 

❤️

– Your Friendly Anonymous ADDERALL Abuser 💋