Not doing so hot…

hey guys…

First…!  Don’t judge me. 

Second:

  

So,

If it isn’t painfully obvious, I’m having a horrible f-cking time right now!!!

I don’t know if I just need to give it more time, (I obviously do), or if the drop to 15 mg from 30 was too much too soon…

I have had a rough week.  I have not been sleeping well, and I have been fighting with my boyfriend/pmsing at the same time.  Some of the fights I have started with him are absolutely ridiculous and when I realize what is going on, I think about how stupid it is and wonder why I even started the argument in the first place.  I have no idea how he is putting up with me while I am going through this.

The PMS and 15mg drop combo was definitely a stupid idea on my part.  I have been on my period for the past three days and I feel even more exhausted, and teamed with the getting little sleep (I have been working almost every night of the week serving… 4:30-close and getting up for school at 8 am or earlier like this morning.  My exhaustion is what I believe to be the ultimate reason behind my little um “relapse” aka “last hoorah” you can see in the image above.  

This is making me half want to quit cold-turkey or increase the dose I tapered down on.  Maybe it was too much to soon again, or maybe I just need to not be a little baby and suck up being exhausted and not being able to work for a couple days.  Problem is… I CAN’T DO THAT!

I CANT TAKE OFF WORK

I CANT MISS SCHOOL

I CANT PAY RENT IF I TAKE OFF WORK

ADVICE PLEASSE!

I am stating to feel like maybe I do need to be off of work for a good week and just deal with the withdrawls.  I mainly desperately need my adderall at work and the caffeine helps with the withdrawls when I am not working.  My boyfriend made a suggestion that maybe on my next day off trying to not drink any caffeine at all, nothing, and just seeing how I feel.  You have to face your fears eventually right?

However,

What happened today:

Feeling like you’re in a blind daze before you drink a monster or coffee first thing in the morning is one thing, but today I almost didn’t have any solution to being half asleep on my way to school and running out of time for coffee… So I took my perscription.  I definitely noticed how much I balanced out when i tapered to 30 mg.  I hope I can beat these withdrawls and continue the drop to 15.  If not I am thinking of taking half an XR and half of an ir daily.  That would mean a 30 mg drop to 22.5… Which may be safer, and less painful than a full 15 mg drop at once.  The less your dose gets the worst the cravings?  

I am stuck somewhere in between being in love with my life, the people in it, my job, both of my schools…

…And hating life, depressed as FFF!!, disliking people, feeling like I am going insane, crazy thoughts, not wanting to leave my room….

Adderall withdrawl.  The biggest b!tch I have ever met!!!

With love,

-Your Friendly Anonymous Adderall Abuser 💋

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Dreaming in Adderall

xterm euphoria

Adderall is a very different drug, depending on how you take it, and how fast you metabolize it.

If you take it sporadically, then the less you take it, the better it works.  It’s what caffeine can only dream of being, except without it’s negatives.  Persistent rumors abound that a good magnesium supplement(magnesium citrate is good) helps reduce tolerance, or at least prevent some of the problems that the drug causes.  But tolerance is generally rapid, and must be managed.  Don’t expect it to work persistently the way it did the first time, it surely will not, and some degree of tolerance is essentially permanent.

But if you’re graced with a continuous, recurring supply, and you take it every day, enduring the destruction of your sleep architecture,  some of your social ability, and possibly your sanity, and you don’t mind the anxiety, you break through into the dream world.

I’m not…

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Coffee is a life saver 

  
 Day 4 of 15 mg, and I honestly am not feeling too shabby!  Yes I have drank like two caramel machiattos since 8 this morning but I had a very productive day (without adderall).  I don’t know if it’s soon to tell but this 15 mg drop feels a lot better than my initial drop.  I’m also pmsing so the fact that today I have been feeling very outgoing, positive, and productive and energized is great on my end.  COFFEE IS A LIFE SAVER FOR DEALING WITH ADDERALL WITHDRAWLS.

  

Round 2

  
I had a wee bit of a slip up, and I also made the decision to drop my dose by another 15.  Tapering is going a little too slow for me, and I survived the 15 mg drop the first time around (even though it was not pretty).  My boyfriend is very supportive of me, and is really helping me.  Coffee has been helping me get through the day.  My mom bought me a coffee the other day that made me not have any adderall cravings for most of the day.  Later, I came to find out that the coffee was a grande machiatto with double add shots which is basically four shots of espresso and sugar but it works!  I really think it’s going to help me get through this.

I had a freak out yesterday morning. I had an almost violent episode, and started panicking but my boyfriend calmed me down.  Once I realized it was all in my head, I was able to collect myself and drop whatever it was I was angry about and move along with my day.  

The whole adderall withdrawl process does play a role physically, but it’s more of a mentality process than anything else.  It’s all about your outlook on your adderall withdrawls, and your willingness to be positive or negative about it. 

I’m trying as best as I can to be positive about this.  It’s not easy.

– Your Friendly Anonymous Adderall Abuser ❤️

Day 25…

alright.

  
Soon, it will be day 28.  After that it’s time to cut my dose again.  A little nervous, but I keep trying to tell myself it should be better because I’m doing it the slow tapering way versus my dramatic dose reduction I did in the beginning

Keep everyone posted. ✌️

We’ve made it to week three 👏

  
Well,

According to the numbers,

This is week 3

Of cutting my adderall dose.  Since I’ve been regulating myself to 30 mg a day, after eight days of this I’m starting to feel a little more stable, and normal.  Besides late at night, I’m a little less irritable, and having a little less mood swings.  I assume it’s because my body is stable out at least.  

So,

I think to give my body a break I will wait until I reach two weeks of being on 30 mg, to drop my dose again. The real question is should I drop to 25

Or 27….. ;( 

Decisions, decisions, decisions….

– Your Friendly Adderall User ❤️

How do dopaminergic stimulants like Adderall/Ritalin affect acetylcholine signalling?

raqibzaman

Answer by Jens Mowatt:

Amphetamines like Adderall (L-amphetamine), Ritalin (Methylphendiate) and Dexedrin (D-amphetamine) are all slightly different. Keep in mind that almost all the studies I’ll cite use D-amphetamine, the mirror molecule of Adderall. All of the amphetamines act to increase dopaminergic transmission, so it is quite likely that they have similar effects on acetylcholine (but I’m not entirely certain about this).

Administration of amphetamines reverses dopamine transporters, leading to increased dopamine release by neurons of the mesolimbic, mesocortical, and nigrostriatal pathways. By acting on areas such as the nucleus accumbens (in the limbic system), cerebral cortex, and striatum (part of the basal ganglia), dopamine exerts its effects.

Downstream, there are many different types of neurons that are affected by dopamine, including ones that utilize acetylcholine (called “cholinergic” neurons). In general, amphetamine administration leads to an increase in cholinergic activity. I’ll give you a…

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